P / P Essay: Toni Morrison’s Self-Regard and Women’s History Month

morrson

Photo Credit: forgotten

Hmm, The Source of Self-Regard. With respect to my trans and female identified sisters, I was born a girl child. My DNA, my birthed body happened to be what Earthlings call “a woman.”

I have no desire to go on a tangent about what a woman is or how I own this body that was circumstantially delivered into this realm in Baltimore City in 1986. I am more concerned with my spirit. I am more interested in my consciousness. My, what some may deem “beauty” is not a source of anything as it may or may not fade away. My body will continue to change just as it has since the day I was born.

Self-regard, what Merriam-Webster describes as”consideration of oneself or one’s own interests…” I personally like google’s description, “regard or consideration for oneself; self-respect,” is something I don’t think about consciously, but in my subconscious it defines the way I walk, stand, speak, interact and the decisions I make.

Today is the first day of Women’s History Month. This history, the Herstory of a circumstantial body defined by beings long ago is recognized, if not celebrated today.

Am I proud to be a woman? I don’t know. Like I mentioned, I don’t think about it much. It does not define me, but our stories, particularly Black women’s stories fascinate, excite and inspire me. I am also considered to be Black American woman – these words are just words and it is what it is. I have the choice to truly connect with what I’ve been told and given about what those words mean, but again, it’s our stories, our experiences, what the words that describe us do to our experiences on this Earth that fascinates me and touches me.

The writer, Ms. Toni Morrison is a Black American woman who shows me that I can be whatever I want to be. I chose to be a writer. I had a knack for it for a long time, but I chose to continue to do it every single day for most of my life.

Ms. Morrison’s existence taught me to write like an individual. I am not an expert on all of her books. I am sure there are probably thousands, if not millions who can go on and on about her volumes of literary offerings.

But all I need is her. All I ever needed was for her to born and all I needed yesterday was to see the words, “The Source of Self-Regard.”

I needed those words to remind me not to disassociate with myself and with my personal connection. Ms. Morrison’s ability to continue on writing, remembering, loving and shows me that every new day provides an opportunity to do what I please.

Toni Morrison’s The Source of Self-Regard gives life. That’s not slang. That’s real. Slang is real, but my intention is literal.

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